Children Are A Blessing

As we reflect on Christmas and how God used His son to change the world, I am going to share how God has used my children to teach me mighty lessons.

I am a very independent person, and I prided myself on the fact that after my divorce, I had a job that allowed me to take care of myself. I actually took a traveling job that put me 1800 miles away from my family and it was a great experience- I was not alone, I had a room mate, but I for the most part, I had to take care of myself.

Once I met my future husband, I decided to stay in Las Vegas to be with him. We had our first child in 2001 and when he was about 10 months, I developed late postpartum depression. I had a mild case when he was first born, but this was moderate to severe and I made the decision to go on medication, which had certain side effects, such as killing my appetite, extreme drowsiness, and an edgy feeling that is hard to adequately describe. I was able to take a leave from my job, and as my husband was worried about me, we decided to stay with his parents(who live here also) as I started the medication. His mom had always commented on how I was 'too independent", but I knew I could not do this alone. My mother-in-law cooked for me, watched my son and let me sleep as much as I needed too without questions and without really understanding what I was dealing with.

As with most medications, the side effects pass as your body adjusts to them, but it takes a while for you to feel benefits(usually 2-4 weeks to start to feel better). It was hard for me to interact verbally with my son, as I felt so groggy from the meds, but I would sit with him outside or swim with him when I had the energy. I felt guilty for not interacting with him as much as I usually did, but I was barely holding it together and was actually glad he was young enough to not remember me crying all the time. I made a promise to my son that I would always seek help in the future when I needed it, but I realized that I needed spiritual support as much as I needed the other.

We spent 2 weeks at his parents home at which time I felt strong enough to go home. I started looking for a home church right away and actually found one rather by chance.

My next blog will go into the story of that as well as the lesson my next child taught me.